Hello to whoever is reading this,
This may sound like I am ranting about my life but I don't know where else to exonerate my feelings. This week (you can consider the whole month) has been the worst. Last Friday, I got my semester 2 results and although I got CGPA 4.0, I felt I really did bad like really bad compared to my peers. All together there were around 20 plus students (out of 45 students) who got 4.0. I calculated my position in the whole foundation and for the first time I felt I have failed so miserably that I need so much support now. Do you know why? After around 6 years this is the first time I have fell out of the top 10 league. Oh my god why. Ya I know you all must be saying be grateful that you got 4.0 but that is not my point. How do value someone's intelligence? By looking at the relative position of his or her. The only thing that separates all of us is our intelligence and we need to take it into consideration seriously. Back to the topic, I also did terrible in my English. I don't know why. I got 80 whereas many other students got like 88 plus. Maybe I am not used to the format, I don't know. Uggh.
Adding fuel to the fire, the dreadful situation isn't over yet. Now I feel so lonely. Even my circle of friends are isolating me. I mean what the hell dude. Why? WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
Even some of them are making some gruesome comments when I tell them something. Sometimes I just feel like smacking them so hard especially that one person. I think all of this started when one new person came into existence in my group. Literally that person stole everything from me. I mean I told that person to join us because IT was feeling sad and no body listened to that person. I took pity of that person and told that person that IT can talk any of us. After that, that person came in and took over my place. Furthermore, how could my friends be so blind to this situation. We used to have lunch together but recently they started sitting in their own table and never once told me that I could join them even though I am sitting alone. This is all so depressing. I can see through their eyes they don't want me but I am still keeping silent because I am engaged in an assignment with them.
Since they are doing like this to me, I had to find some other alternative method to chill then. I am trying to keep myself happy but I don't know when I will break loose. I don't want to go down that route I was few years ago. I know the outcome and I hated it. I just want some people to be good to me.......
